It was almost three years ago. I think that's when it started to happen. I could feel my pursuit for the written word shift and morph into something different, something not necessarily of holy intention. I had been fifteen weeks pregnant with my second baby and with all the encouragement from my husband, I took off to a women's conference in Indianapolis. Not only was I going to be meeting my future best friend, but I was also getting three straight days to rub elbows with some of the most creative women in the blogging/writing/entrepreneur world. I walked into our first initial meeting together nervous and energetic. I loved writing. I loved sitting down with God and combining my experiences with His truth. I loved seeing my testimony woven into words and sentences - permanently residing on a brightly lit screen. Every time I wrote, I felt as if I was erecting an Ebenezer. I felt as if I was declaring His goodness from the mountaintops. If not for anyone else; at least for me. It didn't matter if anyone saw, or even if anyone cared. I wrote for the love of it. I wrote for the love of Him. 

I was thrilled that I would be meeting other women who did what they did for the love of it, too. For the love of Him, too. 

The shift in my heart and my words didn't begin immediately after that conference, but it was there that something definitely came undone in me. 

I started to care about how people perceived me. I crumbled at rejection. I fumed at what I thought was unfair promotion. When I saw the numbers increase on my Instagram, or on a blog post, or wherever - I celebrated. On the other hand, when algorithms and feeds began to change and when engagement began to decrease - I grieved. Sometimes, I deleted posts and videos because they weren't perfect; at least in my eyes. I started (not even realizing it) writing for promotion, popularity, validation, and the occasional ego boost. Sure, my intentions were good. I had dreams of writing a book, starting an online ministry, and connecting with women across the world. I saw platform as a necessity to make those things happen. As any author would tell you, the idea of influence is one that has permeated the publishing world. Nobodies don't write books. But, somebodies do. Somebodies that have more than 10k followers on Instagram and churn out content like it's going out of style. Reality is, that somebody is not me. No matter how hard I tried. 

To use a phrase my husband says often, "Even the road to hell is paved with good intentions." 

I think I've been on the wrong road. To honestly say that I haven't been swept away in the craziness of the online world would be a lie. The truth is, I've turned the good gift God has given me into cheap fodder. And I think we do that a lot don’t we? We take our gifts and turn them into commodities; something to be regularly consumed by others. If we're not careful, it doesn't take us long to get here - to a point of forgetting why we started and even what we're in it for. Any joy that we had in doing what God put within us is robbed by a variety of ulterior motives that creep in and fill the nooks and crannies of our souls. 

If you’re like me, perhaps your initial reaction is to run to the alter and lay down the passion or the gift and leave it there. Lord knows, I’m willing and probably you are too. In fact, in proverbially bringing this lamb to the slaughter — I’ve been ready to delete my blog, my Instagram account and my dreams. All for the sake of clearing out the clutter. But actually, I don't think that's the solution. God’s shown me that there’s something else here for me to do; a battle that needs winning. 

I don’t think it’s possible that I’m alone in this. I’ve seen too many articles, blog posts, comments and have been a part of too many conversations and discussions that indicate otherwise. God certainly had a purpose when He designed us with our gifts and callings. I just think we have the unfortunate tendency to take His design and automatically make a move towards monetizing it. We unintentially begin to use it as a means to make much of ourselves instead of making much of Him. 

Look, sometimes the easier thing to do is to give up and give in. Or maybe, it’s going on a break. We think separation will resolve the issue, but it only lengthens the time it takes us to deal with it. Life just doesn’t work like an old episode of Friends. As believers, it doesn’t make sense to operate from an on again/off again mentality. We are not thin and unstable trees shaken and stirred by the wind. We commit. 

If God’s original plan was that we’d make much of Him in all that we do, that we’d use our gifts and passions to glorify Him — then, it’s time to get back to basics. 

I don’t think any of us want to pursue our dreams if God isn’t in them. But that actually requires giving Him some room. Not just in our hearts, but in our pursuits and in how we actually pursue and think about them, too. 

Honestly, I think it starts there. Practically speaking, I have to say (sometimes out loud) that this is all for Him. I have to implement a laundry room routine of prayer, worship, and thanksgiving to wash and dry out the intentions that want to corrode the purity of my gifts. I have to ask myself daily if I’m doing something to serve Him, or to serve others. Mainly, I have to get back to doing the things I love for the love of it, and for the love of God. This is the MOST important thing. Plain and simple. It doesn't matter what else comes out of it, if nothing but a sacred give and take between me and the Lord. 

I have to also literally fix my eyes on Jesus. When I'm tempted to compare myself to others; to filter my gifts through what's trending and what's expected - I have to watch what the Lord says to do. If He says move, then that's what I do. If He says stay, be faithful, or even do nothing - then that's what I do. I have to regularly check my heart and ask whether I'm filtering my gifts through a desired to be used, or a desire to be known. I have to regularly ask who's sitting at the throne -  my gifts or my God. 

Even more practically, I'm unsubscribing to all the content driven emails out there asking me to produce and compete. I'm spending less time scrolling through Instagram and more time living my life. I'm checking with God before I check with others. And, I'm creating margin to create only for Him - in the secret place. Words that no one else will ever read; love letters to a God who delights in the word just like I do. 

We get so caught up in what we produce, that we forget to question the reason we're producing it. And that's what we have to come back round to, every single time. We can't get weary of this routine, because this is what holds us together. It's easy to try to encapsulate our purpose into a why, or a mission statement. But these things aren't actually what creates the basis of our gift's foundation. Rather, we have to regularly come back to the One who put what's in us in the first place. He is what matters. He is the cornerstone. And, He is what holds us and our gifts all together. When we do what we love because we love Him, we start to see ourselves doing what we love for the love of it. Let's get back to that. Let's get back to Him. 


Faith. It sits at the back of our bookshelves, collecting dust and cobwebs. But, it's eager for it's remembrance. It's eager for someone to pull it out and open it up; changing the world one page at a time. It's eager to not to have just been read or known, but used. 

Faith longs for it's muscles to be stretched; imagined and explored. It craves to once again regain that shine and luster it had not to long ago - where twelve simple fishermen dropped everything they had, to follow just one man. These men; they were the first examples of what it looked like to walk in faith, and not just possess it. For them, their faith was revealed at the moment Jesus called them to Him. For us, it is the same. And, at it's core this is what faith is - the continuous revelation of God; a firm and divine persuasion to believe in that which we cannot see. 

While we know that, "faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." We could easily see this as a passive comfort to our everyday lives when it is actually so much more. It is a call to action from Him to us. And so, it would be impossible to describe the life of faith without actually describing a life of obedience. And thus, a life of patience and perseverance as well. Faith is a real place. We either live in it, outside of it, or direct it towards something else other than God. 

And that's where it can get hard, right? We may have committed our lives once, but walking in faith is a daily commitment. The hard reality is that a life of faith is the immunization against a life of apostasy. So, we must ask ourselves - are we up to date? 

If we call ourselves believers, than we can easily trace our history with God back to the moment where our belief turned into faith - where God persuaded us once and for all that not only did He exist, but that "the universe was created by the word of God" and that it bows to His rule. 

But then, what comes next? It starts at the last thing God asked us to do.

That's a little terrifying isn't it? Because perhaps there's a reason we haven't obeyed, and there's certainly a reason why we haven't followed through. The obstacles (and excuses) are endless. 

But God! God doesn't just want us to walk into faith and be self-sustained, He wants us to operate and function from this place of faith and be God-sustained. And that is the important difference. While faith requires our obedience, it doesn't require our muster. Because faith is received from God as a fruit of spirit, it is put inside of us and never created by us. We don't acquire faith, we simply access it. 

The walk of faith begins with obedience. It's God persuading us that He's worth it; that He's King. Then, it's His constant and regular persuasion to seek after Him in daily acts of faith, both big and small. It's Him reminding us that faith requires both our agreement and our participation. To lean hard on the confidence of a faith created and instilled by Him into us, not on the false humility of a faith created by ourselves. Our faith does not move mountains because we did the work, but because He did. But, because we function from a place of faith, we give Him the ability to operate through us - to do the impossible. 

And so knowing all this, we must come back to questioning the posture and position of our hearts. 

First, have we faithfully walked out the last assignment God has given us? Second, where are we in relation to the faith that God has put inside of us? Are we functioning and operating from it or outside of it? Or, have we abandoned that which we cannot see for something that we can? 

Remember friends, "...without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who seek Him." Let us begin to choose lives that please Him, and not the world. Let us seek after Him by walking both in faith and in obedience. 



Hebrews 11:1-3 | Hebrews 11:6 | Romans 4:20-21 | Galatians 5:22-23 | Ephesians 2:8-10 | Matthew 21:21


It seems that the biggest question women (and men) are asking themselves these days boils down to essentially one significant question - How do I make all my dreams come true? There's this burning desire to feel not only content with our lives at the present moment, but to feel both satisfied and confident in where we are headed, too. 

And so, because we are ambitious and want the very best for our lives, we spend a lot of time reading and researching anything and everything that has to do with purpose, calling and even identity. Because ultimately, we know that our dreams have a lot to do with who we are, where God is leading us, and what God has put in us. We think that if we could only just figure that all out, then the rest would follow. Right? Wrong. See, we can read all the books and take all the tests and make all the goals- but if we don't have the faith to actually walk out what God is calling us to co-labor with Him on, then nothing will ever change. In fact, we'll just stay put and we'll just grow stagnant. Worse; we'll just get comfortable.

I've spent more than half my life doing all the aforementioned things - pursuing purpose, calling and identity as if they held the key to my future. To be honest, it satisfied the parts of me that needed a plan and needed some sort of understanding of who I am. It felt good to walk in a steady belief of myself. But, that's also where I've gone wrong. The more enlightened I've become, the more confused I've gotten. And in the span of just a few years- the more I've come to understand myself, the less I've actually done. It's not that those things are bad, per say. It's good to know ourselves and know where we'd thrive. It's good to know what God wants from us. It's good to set goals and steward your life well. It's all good. 

But in order to actually make our dreams come true, we have to take risks. And oftentimes, the pursuit of self-knowledge deters us from the actual plan; from the actual jumping in. In fact, we sometimes get so stuck on our hearts that we forget to move our feet. 

I've noticed that those who are actually seeing their dreams come to fruition aren't the ones who are questioning whether they're the woman for the job. They certainly aren't sitting around waiting for their dreams to happen to them or putting themselves under a microscope and analyzing their strengths and weaknesses. Instead, they are taking the risks. They are walking out their faith in real time. 

And this, this is what it all comes down to. 

The purpose of this series isn't to hone in on your special skills or talents. It's not even about further figuring out what your dreams and visions are. Instead, because I'm smack dab in the middle of it all myself - this series is about what it actually looks like to walk out your faith. Tangibly. 

Look, I know that walking out our faith feels a little bit like running through a never-ending pitch black tunnel with only one lit matchstick to accompany you. There isn't a ultra high beam flashlight that illuminates the way. To make matters worse, there certainly aren't any directions. Actually, I think that's one of the only things we can be sure about - not knowing where we're headed. 

Regardless, that doesn't mean that we can't spend the time positioning our feet to match the direction of our hearts. And that's what I'd love to spend some time on for both me, and for you - becoming a risk taker and a dream maker in both word and in deed. 

The best part? We aren't doing it all on our own. If we feel like we're at the end of our rope and ready to give in - that just means it's actually time to grip even tighter onto the hands of our Savior, conquer our fears, and run the race that He's set before us. Matchsticks in hand. Both our feet and our hearts headed in the same direction. You in?