We are most often told to embrace the season we're in when we are in the midst of a wonderful circumstance. When we're in the thick of celebration, or honeymoon, or simple happiness - others instruct us to "enjoy this moment, " or "live in the moment" or "be here, now." But, it's rare that we would hear these same exhortations in the thick of deep grief, transition, or waiting. For me, it actually was in this place that I heard this -- and it's changed me. And now, it's become more than just a saying, but a way of doing life.
Our home sits on the wrong side of the street, where the sun only meets with us for a couple of hours each day -- hours that I savor and look forward to during those bitter cold winter months. It had been snowing off and on for days, leaving scattered piles of the white stuff everywhere and the snow in our driveway had become a bit of a hazard; slick icy spots hiding themselves in corners and crevices. I was 35 weeks pregnant then with our baby girl, and it just so happened to be my birthday. I was alive with promise and hope; both literally and spiritually.
In moments, it all came to a halt with one deafening pop.
I have a tendency to get really excited about mail, and had realized that night that I hadn't checked it. I'm still not entirely sure what happened, but as I walked across our driveway, both my feet skated across a large patch of ice and swiftly, my body hit the ground. As I laid there, two things crossed my mind. First, that our baby girl was going to be just fine. And second, that something was seriously wrong with my ankle.
After being carried across the threshold of our home and examined by my husband, I was quickly put in the car and driven to the Urgent Care. The doctor reassured us that our baby girl was thriving, but informed us that my ankle was definitely broken.
The weeks that followed were probably what I would describe as one of the darker seasons of my life. I was totally unprepared for the mental and physical battle of recovering from the fall, the unavoidable surgery, and the normal ailments that come with the final weeks of a pregnancy.
The couch became my tower, and I felt in need of a rescue.
All I could think of was healing, of having my baby and of brighter and warmer days. I was wrecked and desperate. I was depressed.
One day, I was complaining to the Lord, and asking for His divine intervention. I had been setting goals and dreaming about the things to come; when it happened. He whispered to me, "Child, don't be so quick to dismiss this season that you are in."
I believe that these words aren't just for me, but for all of us. I believe that He wants us to see that it is not the seasons of our life that define us, but how He moves through us when we are in the middle of them. I believe that He wants us to learn how to let go of our search for happiness and access the joy that is already within us. Finally, I believe that He truly wants us to see that as we embrace the season of life that we are in, we aren't settling for less we're letting Him be our more.
What was put on my heart then has translated itself into a mantra; a banner that I carry high above my head, and my circumstances. I'm learning to not dismiss the seasons that I'm living through, but to embrace them. Will you join me?